


Mad Genius, More Like Rad Genius

by Penndragon27



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst and Humor, BAMF Clint Barton, BAMF Tony Stark, Domestic Avengers, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Genius Tony Stark, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Light Angst, Marvel 616 References, Pranks, Winteriron if you squint, all of them are bamf really, based on a prompt, but not really, sorta evil Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27984234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penndragon27/pseuds/Penndragon27
Summary: An Avengers training exercise gives everyone a chance to show off their skills.Tony's just a bit different than the others.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 160





	Mad Genius, More Like Rad Genius

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arlae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlae/gifts).



> Based on a great prompt by Arlae, hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thank you ru for beta-ing!!

The Avengers were quiet as they returned to the tower. Even Clint was subdued, which was really saying something. Of course, it only lasted until he’d sagged into his designated armchair.

“Well, that sucked.”

The others grunted in agreement.

Clint laughed. “I’m going to assume you all agreed with me. My hearing aid was busted in the fight.”

The Iron Man armor opened, revealing a sweaty and battered Tony Stark. As if by magic, he pulled out a spare pair of hearing aids and tossed them to Clint. 

“Thanks, Stark!”

“Just don’t tell anyone how thoroughly beaten we were by,” Tony shuddered, “Doctor Doom.”

“We weren’t beaten,” Steve pointed out. “We stopped him.”

“I don’t know,” Bucky said. “I feel pretty beaten.”

“I blame Thor,” Clint said. “He should’ve been here to help us.”

Steve crossed his arms. “I think we can forgive him, given that we’ve met his brother.”

They all laughed. Doctor Doom aside, they didn’t envy Thor having to deal with Loki and Asgard stuff.

“Are you going to blame Sam for leaving us, too?” 

Clint gave Steve a look. “His sister just had a baby. The only reason I’m not with him is that babies hate me. Well, human babies. I’m great with dogs.”

Further talk was interrupted by Bruce finally arriving, a baggy flannel shirt the only thing providing him with modesty.

“Nice legs, Banner,” Clint snorted.

“Dr. Banner,” Tony corrected. 

“Shut up. I wish the big guy could be more considerate of my clothes.”

“Say the word and I can make you some sort of stretchy polymer or whatever,” Tony said. 

“Thanks,” Bruce adjusted the flannel a bit, even though it was fine. “But I don’t really want to wear spandex under all my clothes for the foreseeable future.”

“Why not? It could help with your figure.” Clint managed to muster enough strength to lean over and poke at Bruce, who batted him away.

“My figure is fine!”

“Damn right it is,” Tony added, because he had no shame.

“Stimulating as the conversation is, maybe we could return to the matter at hand?” Natasha’s brow was raised, as though she expected a modicum of decorum from the Avengers. 

Clint discouraged that when he laughed. “Which matter? Humans hating me?”

“I think she means us getting the stuffing knocked out of us,” Steve said, his leader-mode activating. “I suppose we just keep training and hope that we’re better prepared next time.”

“There is something else,” Bucky said. He looked at Natasha and they had one of their silent conversations; one that only Clint might understand.

“Care to share with the class?” Tony finally asked.

“It’s something from our training,” Natasha explained. “Everyone in the class would take turns trying to kill each other. With everyone getting a chance, we could learn both how to think like an attacker and how to avoid different techniques.”

Tony tilted his head skeptically. “You want us to try and kill each other? Even though we’ve all fought each other many times? Hell, a month ago Bucky and I were beating each other to a pulp.”

“But we’re good now, right?” Bucky checked in, just to make sure. Tony nodded with a grin. Water under the bridge and all that.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “There’s a difference between impulsive fighting and cold, calculating plots. We don’t have to try to  _ kill  _ each other, but maybe maim or emotionally manipulate. Nothing too terrible.”

“Right,” Steve said. “I’m not sure about this.”

“Team vote?” Bucky asked.

They voted. Bucky, Natasha, Clint, and Tony all voted for. Steve and Bruce were against. 

“Honestly,” Bruce said sheepishly, “I don’t mind if you all do it. I’d just rather be left out of it given…”

“Of course,” Tony put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing comfortingly. 

“Well, if it’s just me,” Steve sighed. “I guess the five of us are doing this. How will this work? Should we do pairs?”

“Dibs on Nat!” 

Natasha glared at Clint. “If any of us are pairing up, it’ll be Bucky and me. We have similar training, so we might as well work together.”

“Ugh, fine. Then I call Stark!”

Steve frowned. “I’ll try not to be offended.”

“Nothing personal, Cap. Stark has the fun gadgets.”

“I do,” Tony said. “But I also work alone.”

“You’re literally part of the Avengers.”

“Yes, but it is well-established that I don’t play well with others.”

Clint crossed his arms, pouting. “Fine, I’ll just do it on my own, then.”

“Nope,” Steve said loudly. “Still not offended. Not one bit.”

“Cap,” Tony said. 

“Do you think Sam would be my partner?”

Bucky snorted. “I don’t think Sam would give up hanging out with his new nephew to help you try and kill us. 

Clint clasped his hands behind his head, leaning back to try and get his back to crack back into place. “So when do we start? How long do we each get?”

“We should have a week to prepare,” Steve said. “And then we can each have a week to attack. We can draw lots to determine the order.”

“Ugh, Cap,” Clint groaned. “How do you make this sound like homework? You’re taking all the fun out of us trying to kill each other.”

“Maim,” Tony corrected. 

“Don’t worry,” Bucky said. “This is going to be awesome!”

* * *

A week later, it wasn’t feeling so awesome. Well, it was awesome for Natasha and Bucky, since they were going first. 

Clint, Steve, and Tony were prime candidates in paranoia as they checked around each corner and constantly swept for bugs. Tony had already found twelve in the kitchen alone, and he knew those were just the ones he was supposed to find.

On Day Three, Clint had to follow Steve around to stop him from consuming poison.

“But I just bought this at the diner twelve blocks away,” Steve tried to reason.

“Exactly,” Clint said. “You didn’t see how it was made. It’s poisoned.”

“They wouldn’t actually poison me, right?”

Clint and Tony exchanged a look.

“Maybe not with anything lethal,” Tony said hesitantly, since he wasn’t entirely sure himself.

Steve frowned and threw out his burger.

By the time they reached the last day, they were all bleary eyed and living off potato chips Tony scanned carefully before any of them took a bite.

“Maybe we should have a recovery weekend,” Clint said tiredly. “So we don’t all die before the next turn.”

“I concur,” Tony said gloomily. “Alright, what’s our play? Do we want to try again to catch them or just wait them out for one more day?”

“Since this is meant to be training, I think we should keep trying to apprehend them,” Steve pointed out.

Tony inhaled deeply. “Apprehend Black Widow and the Winter Soldier. Piece of cake.”

They hoped that they’d somehow have more success than previously, but that was not the case. Apparently neither of them were even in the building, so JARVIS was of little help. Clint surveyed the surrounding buildings for their base, while Steve went to SHIELD bases.

“I think they became ghosts,” Clint decided, when they reconvened. “Or maybe they always were?”

“I’ve been repairing Bucky’s arm for a few weeks now, I think I’d notice if he were a ghost.”

“Have you met a ghost? Maybe they’re corporeal when they want to be.”

“Guys,” Steve interjected. “Focus.”

“Got it, Cap,” Tony winked. “Clint, you’re sure they aren’t in the vents?”

“Double and triple-checked. I ran into some razer wires and nearly got suffocated by gas, but no assassins besides me.”

“Damn it,” Steve cursed. “Where could they be?”

Then Tony’s eyes lit up. “We’re idiots.”

“Not disagreeing, but care to elaborate?” Clint asked.

Tony spoke, his hands waving wildly. “We keep thinking they’ll be above because that’s what they always do. We expect assassins to want the high ground.”

“Jedi logic, not promising.”

“Clint,” Steve admonished before turning to Tony. “Continue.”

“We have to look below. Underground. JARVIS, get me the specs for the sewage line.”

“Aw, sewage, no.”

* * *

They did find the pair in the sewers, but the assassins were also waiting for them and they wound up in a closer combat fight. Just because their plans so far had been to act from a distance didn’t mean they weren’t just as deadly in person.Thankfully, with it being three to two and with Clint’s intimate knowledge of Natasha’s fighting style, they managed to apprehend the ‘villains’. Not easily, though.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Tony said. “But I miss the Doombots.” He rested a pack of frozen peas on his knee and let out a sigh of relief. Bucky sat next to him, a frozen steak over his eye.

“I’d say I’m sorry, but you already returned the favour.”

“You know that’s really unsanitary, right?”

“I know, but I kept seeing it in cartoons and wanted to try it.”

Steve frowned, the only one in good shape thanks to his super-healing. “That was going to be my supper.”

“No it wasn’t,” Clint said from where Natasha was sewing up his shoulder. “It’s poisoned. The peas are fine, though.”

Steve shot Bucky a horrified look.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “It’s only poisonous if ingested.”

* * *

After the stress of what came to be known as Assassin Week, Steve’s turn was a bit of a relief.

Sure, he was trying to attack them, but he wasn’t as malicious as the assassins and definitely not as sneaky. Sure, Tony had to dodge the occasional tackle at breakfast and had to start wearing his repulsors around all the time, but it was more physically draining than emotionally.

Clint had it easier, since he could live in the vents for the week. Steve hadn’t managed to reach him yet, but he did throw the occasional batch of tear gas in there to try to flush him out. Clint was still in there, though, which had the others wondering if he had built up an immunity or if the vents would soon start stinking up from his corpse.

“I can assure you that Mr. Barton is alive,” JARVIS assured when asked.

“Better luck next time,” Tony called out to wherever Steve was hiding. He was sure the captain could hear him.

Despite his more direct approach, Steve was managing some stealth missions.

“I feel like I’m at a distinct disadvantage,” Bucky said, frowning at the fridge.

“What do you mean?” Tony was frowning at the coffee pot. Its distinct emptiness was a sure sign that Clint was still alive.

“Steve knows me better. So he knows how to screw with me.” Bucky held up a carton of milk. Tony tried not to laugh.

“Is it expired?”

“It’s dairy milk. Like, from a  _ cow. _ ”

Tony raised his eyebrows. “That is where milk is usually from.”

Bucky returned the milk before slamming the fridge shut. His pout was surprisingly adorable for a deadly assassin.

“He knows I can’t have dairy. But for some reason, that’s all that’s in the fridge.”

“Shouldn’t the super-soldier thing heal lactose intolerance.”

“It’s not that kind of intolerance,” Bucky scowled. “It’s that dairy is gross and I can’t have any without wanting to be sick.”

Tony gaped, trying to comprehend such a situation. “But. Cheese.”

“Is gross,” Bucky finished.

“I don’t get it,” Tony said. “I was lactose intolerant until Helen gave me magic pills. And I still had cheese almost daily.”

“Bully for you,” Bucky said. “Enjoy that weird rubber made of cow juice.”

“You eat steak?”

“I’m not having this argument.”

Tony raised his hands in defeat. “I can get you some fake milk if you want.”

“I’m sure this is payback for the poison,” Bucky sighed. “Honestly, this is just cruel. And I’m sure as soon as I get to my room he’s going to be there to attack my weak, malnourished self.”

Tony’s eyes roved over Bucky’s frame. “Right.”

“I should’ve pulled a Nat and disappeared.”

“Yeah, where did she go?”

Bucky shrugged. “Like I’d tell you.”

Tony laughed as he left, but it quickly died as he turned around to aim his repulsor at where Captain America was standing, shield raised.

“Bucky was a fakeout, then?”

Steve nodded sheepishly. Tony sighed. He should’ve figured that Steve would mainly target him, seeing as Clint was inaccessible and Tony was the least trained in combat. Unfortunately for Steve, Tony had tech on his side and he managed to hold his own. At least, until he was knocked to the ground and Steve’s fist was headed straight for his chest.

Tony’s eyes widened and Steve froze. It gave Tony the opportunity to turn things around, knocking aside Steve’s shield and aiming a repulsor at his head.

“Shouldn’t have hesitated, Cap,” Tony grinned.

“Well, I wasn’t going to…” Steve glanced at the glowing ring visible through Tony’s shirt. 

Tony gave a dry laugh. “To what? Injure me? That’s the whole point of this exercise!”

“But it could kill you! That’s  _ not  _ the point.”

“It wouldn’t kill me,” Tony waved his free hand carelessly. “Sure, there could be some mild cardiac arrest or whatever, but I have backups hidden throughout the building, safely guarded by JARVIS. I’d be fine.”

“But I didn’t know that,” Steve’s voice was small.

“Doesn’t matter,” Tony said. “If I were fighting an actual enemy, they wouldn’t pause. That’s the point of this whole thing.”

Steve’s face pinched as he crossed his arms. “Well, I’m sorry for wanting to draw a line.”

“JARVIS, can you alert the other Avengers that I need backup? We can lock Cap up for the rest of the week. Also, add fake milk to the shopping list.”

“Of course, sir.”

* * *

Clint was next. As expected, the week was chaotic as hell.

It started with childish pranks. Natasha’s Widow’s Bites were tampered with and would randomly explode, so they had to be locked away. Steve’s shield had been missing from day one and his suit had somehow been dyed pink.

“But it’s dark blue,” Steve had said, horrified. “He would’ve had to bleach it first.”

“I know, buddy,” Bucky patted him comfortingly.

Bucky had his own troubles, with his arm being jammed up with chewing gum. How Clint managed to do that while the freaking Winter Soldier was asleep, no one knew. Well, maybe Natasha knew, but she wasn’t telling.

Just because she was on their side against Clint didn’t mean she was going to start revealing all his secrets.

“I thought that was the point of all this,” Steve said, still bitter about his week. “That we remove all personal feelings.”

“Yes,” Natasha said cooly. “But personally, revealing too much about Clint would reveal too much about me and I’m not going to do that. Doesn’t mean I won’t try to kill him if I need to.”

“I’m so happy to be part of this family,” Bruce chimed in from where he was sitting in the den, reading peacefully. “The love and affection. It’s just beautiful.”

Tony laughed. “Less murder-y than most of our real families.”

“True.”

Tony had managed to minimize being pranked, having JARVIS lock up all the vents and embracing his insomnia to avoid attacks while asleep. He thought he was fine until he found all his clothes replaced with some 70’s polyester crap. Luckily, Tony could rock any look and sported the lime green suit while updating JARVIS to figure out how the hell that happened.

“I don’t think you’ll have to try to kill him,” Steve said. “He’s just pulling childish pranks, not doing anything violent.”

Natasha smiled and Tony knew they were screwed.

* * *

It started with Steve waking up tied to his bed. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but he’d put it off as long as he could. Even worse, he was tied up with some glowy rope that had to be Asgardian and was impossible to break. When had Clint gotten his hands on something like that?

Then Bucky, who had been using his Winter Soldier mode to not sleep, found that his arm suddenly went limp. Whatever tech had been working it before was gone and now it was a useless mass of metal weighing on his shoulder.

He went to Tony’s workshop for help to find the genius freaking out, hands running through his hair wildly.

“You okay?”

“Clint. He found my spare arc reactors. The ones I have in case of emergency. The ones I don’t want to fall into anyone’s hands but my own.”

“Holy shit,” Bucky whispered. “He found all of them?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Of course not. But he found at least half and I’m partially sure he only left the others so I wouldn’t  _ actually _ die when he attacks me.”

“Well. Fuck.”

Tony shook his head. “Whatever. It’s part of the deal with all this. Anyway, what can I do for you?”

Bucky held out his arm. Tony was about to walk closer when JARVIS intervened.

“Sir, wait. I am detecting an EMP that is still active and will affect you when in range.”

“Son of a bitch,” Tony said. “That little fucker. Of course he’d send you as a Trojan Horse.”

Bucky quickly moved back, noticing that as he moved closer to Tony’s coffee maker, it suddenly stopped beeping.

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry.”

Tony shook his head. “No worries. Just going to have to be careful about this. And when it’s my turn, that asshole is going to get what’s coming to him.”

Tony managed to disable the EMP, as examination revealed it was a device he himself had built that Clint had clearly stolen. Finally, they were able to come within a few feet of each other.

“Thanks, Tony.”

“Any time. Just, you know, preferably without the deadly threat.”

Bucky laughed. “I thought deadly threats were our thing?”

Tony smiled back. 

When they arrived upstairs, they found Natasha standing over Clint, who was tied up with some magical Asgardian rope. They were both pleased to see he had some substantial bruising.

* * *

It was Tony’s turn and none of them had seen him for two days.

“I thought he’d at least pull some revenge pranks,” Clint said. “And JARVIS is still working fine, I totally thought he’d go all Smart House on us.”

“Don’t know that reference,” Steve responded. “But I agree. I don’t know what to expect.”

“Tony’s a genius,” Natasha said, like they didn’t know. “And I mean an actual genius. He knows what we expect him to do and he knows what we don’t expect him to do, so he’ll plan something that’s neither.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Bucky said. 

“Exactly.”

On that cheery note, they went into the third day still not knowing when Tony would act. Steve arrived at breakfast bleary-eyed and yawning.

“Bad night?” Bruce asked. He looked annoyingly well-rested, seeing as these few weeks were essentially time off for him.

“I think I slept? Though it feels like I didn’t.” Steve gave another great yawn. “Normally I’m fine with missing a night, but I feel like I have slept in ages. I’m just so…”

Steve dozed off, standing over the hot stove and frying eggs. Bruce didn’t think that was safe and snapped his fingers.

“Sorry. I’m just tired.”

“I can tell,” Bruce frowned with worry. “Is this part of your guys’ thing? Did Tony do something?”

“No way,” Steve huffed. “We haven’t even seen him…”

He trailed off, tired brain trying to think. Then Bucky entered, looking just as tired.

“I feel like crap.”

Steve pursed his lips, trying to think even though his brain was slow. “You can’t sleep either? Did Tony do something?”

Bucky’s eyes widened in realization. Before he could speak, Natasha showed up with bags under her eyes.

“Tony did something,” said Natasha.

“Dammit,” came an echoey voice from above. Clint.

Steve looked at the ceiling. “How do you trust the vents? Tony could easily trap you in there or something.”

“I think I know these vents better than Tony. He only built them, I live in them. Plus JARVIS wouldn’t hurt me, right pal?”

“Of course not, Mr. Barton.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “JARVIS, would you tell us if Tony asked you to betray us?”

“Of course not, Mr. Barnes.”

“Aw, JARVIS, no.” Clint punctuated his words with a loud yawn.

“Why are we all so tired?” Steve asked.

Natasha crossed her arms. “I’m not sure. It’s definitely Tony, though, so I’d assume it’s some form of tech.”

“That’s creepy,” Clint said. “He can just magically make us tired without any of us noticing?”

“That’s so cool,” Bucky held back a smile, just to be polite. “Maybe if he doesn’t kill us all he can teach me! I’d love to be able to cause sleep deprivation with my mind.”

“Stop fangirling, Barnes,” Clint said. “So, how do we stop him?”

“We need to find him f-first,” Steve spoke through a yawn. “I’d say either his workshop or his bedroom.”

“Isn’t that a bit obvious?” 

Steve shook his head at Bucky. “That’s what makes it the perfect spot. Because it’s so obvious he’d think we wouldn’t bother looking there.”

Natasha made a disgruntled noise. “Did you not hear me before? That makes it even more obvious. He won’t be there.”

“We should still check,” Steve’s voice was hard. Sleep deprivation was making him crabby.

He wasn’t the only one. Everyone wanted nothing more than to just find Tony so they could take a nap. After more arguing, it was decided that they would split up. Steve and Bucky went to the workshop while Natasha and Bucky went to scout the actual least likely spots.

What they didn’t know was that splitting up the team was precisely Tony’s plan and they’d all just made it easier for him.

Already in pairs of two, JARVIS just had to wait until they were far away enough from each other so the doors could all seal shut, isolating each of the Avengers.

Bucky whirled around as he was suddenly locked in a hallway.

“Stevie? Can you hear me?”

There was no answer.

“JARVIS?”

No answer either, which meant that the AI was clearly behind this. Bucky lifted his gun, preparing to shoot whatever showed up to attack him.

Nothing appeared, but Bucky soon began shivering. He wasn’t sure if it was the phantom sleep deprivation, but he was feeling much colder than usual. Which was weird, since the serum made him run hot.

Bucky let out a breath and watched it fog in the air. The temperature was definitely decreasing.

“Tony,” he called out. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but why don’t you just show yourself and we can fight this out?”

Tony didn’t show up and the hallway kept getting colder. Bucky could swear he saw frost forming on the walls, but it could be a mix of tiredness and freezing.

His senses felt duller and he tried to pace to keep warm, but his limbs were slowing down. The cold, the quiet, it was eerily similar to being put to cryosleep and his body wanted nothing more than to just rest. At the same time, his mind was being sent into a panic as it was pushed into past memories.

Scientists looking down at him. Putting him to sleep so they could wake him up for another mission.

Bucky shot at the door, even though he knew it was in vain. He was proven correct when the bullet ricocheted towards him. He didn’t have the energy to dodge and fell as it pierced his ribs.

“Fuck,” he said before collapsing.

* * *

Clint should’ve realized this was all a trap and he blamed exhaustion for getting stuck in a room with no access to the vents.

“Stark? You there? Are we going to fight?”

He kept his smirk, knowing that wherever Stark was, he was watching. The smirk stayed as a paper slid under the door and it stayed as Clint went over to pick it up.

It fell when he looked at the flyer in his hand.

He was holding an old circus flyer, advertising Trickshot.

“Stark?”

In answer, a slot opened from the ceiling and something fell down.

Two somethings. They were swords.

“Stark? What the hell are you doing?”

“This isn’t Stark.”

Clint whirled around and found himself face to face with the Swordsman himself: Jacques Duquesne. It had to be a hologram or something, but he looked real. Moustache and all. He bent down and picked up the swords. He tossed one to Clint, who barely managed to catch it by the hilt.

“Let’s see if you’re as good with a sword as you are with a bow.”

Clint swallowed painfully, his throat dry and sticking. The sword shook in his hand, which he tried to blame on lack of sleep.

“Let’s go, then.”

* * *

Steve frowned as doors appeared in the hallway, separating him from Bucky. His frustration increased as he realized neither brute strength nor his shield could break through.

“What the hell, Tony.”

There was a faint whirring sound and Steve got into his defensive stance. Instead of an attack, though, the sound just kept getting louder.

Steve didn’t know how to react, but the sound kept increasing and getting more high pitched. He covered his ears, but there was little else he could do. The sound pierced his skull. He’d never wanted to punch a noise before, but in that moment it was all he wanted to do.

He felt his knees crack as he fell to the ground, but he didn’t care because it felt like his eardrums were bleeding. His eyes were squeezed shut and he wanted nothing more than for the sound to stop.

It didn’t.

* * *

The moment Natasha was locked in the room, her guard went up. She was prepared for anything.

Anything except the realization that the room she was in had eerily familiar furniture. The blue-grey fabric covered in lace decorations. The scrubbed wooden table covered in books. Said books written in Russian and declaring poetry that had been read to her so many years ago.

There was also the faint smell of smoke. Mentally cursing, Natasha followed the smell to find the source of the fire, but found none. She couldn’t even find an opening where smoke could enter. Then the ratty couch- that looked just like the one she’d learned to read on- burst into flames. 

She jumped away and immediately laid down to avoid inhaling smoke. 

The doors were clearly useless, but there had to be a way out. There was always a way. She just had to focus on that and not the fact that Stark had somehow replicated her childhood living room. The one from before Ivan Petrovitch and the Red Room and all that crap.

No, she just had to find a way out.

“Run, Natalia!”

The voice was faint, but it had a clear Russian accent.

“Natalia, please, go find help! Your brother and I will be okay if you just go get help.”

Natasha’s blood went cold, despite the flames increasing around her. Of course Stark would somehow find out about her brother. The voice went on, panicked and desperate. Natasha could admit she was shaken. She could admit that there were emotions stirring up inside her that she had locked away for decades.

But she could acknowledge that and still do her job. She had to.

She pointedly didn’t think about her mother or her brother. She thought about the present, right now. She thought about how she was going to kick Stark’s ass after all of this.

She took a deep breath. She couldn’t get angry or annoyed.

Natasha closed her eyes, preparing for when she’d have to open them and try to look for an escape. There was one, of course. No matter how competent Stark was, he wouldn’t actually try to kill them. He would put in safety measures to keep things right on the edge of lethal.

Holding her breath, Natasha opened her eyes and looked up.

Then she smiled.

* * *

Bucky woke up still feeling cold, but it didn’t seem like he was bleeding anymore, so that was a plus. He was healing, but it was slower than usual after everything. He found that he was all bandaged up and that Nat was sitting across from him, face neutral.

“What happened?”

“Escaped my trap, found you lying in the middle of the hallway. I expect Stark let you go since you were seriously injured.”

“Did Tony almost kill me? Because I can’t decide if that’s scary or hot.”

Nat rolled her eyes. “He wouldn’t let you die.”

Bucky waggled his eyebrows. “So he could if he wanted to. Definitely hot.”

“Do you know where the others are?” Nat asked, refusing to humour him.

“No, but if they dealt with anything similar to what I did…”

“We need reinforcements,” Nat nodded.

“What do you mean? We can’t just wait it out?”

“If Stark did to Clint what he did to me,” Nat’s eyes went dark for the barest moment. “Let’s just say Stark has been more competent than many of our enemies. Thankfully, we have a weapon that works on only him.”

Bucky grinned, reading her mind.

* * *

Tony was monitoring everything from within his armor, hovering out of sight of the tower. Clint was still fighting the android he’d built and Steve was suffering from the effects of a device that was just shy of causing lasting damage. 

After Bucky was injured, Tony knew he had to let him go. He also allowed Nat to escape so she could find and help Bucky. Part of him felt a bit bad for how far he was going, but if it prepared them for the next villain, then it was all for the best in the long run.

Then he saw Nat pull out a SHIELD device, one Tony couldn’t deactivate without seriously pissing off Fury.

Within minutes, Tony was getting a call from Pepper.

“Damn it,” he muttered before answering. Her face filled the HUD. 

“Tony. Why did I get a message from Nat that you’re traumatizing your team?”

“It’s a training exercise, Pep. I’m helping them train.”

Pepper gave him a look.

“Okay, so I may have focused on some emotional attacks more than physical, but just for the assassins. It’s the only way to throw them off.”

“Tony. There are lines. You’re crossing them.”

“But-”

“I’m sure you’re doing what you think is best, but did the others go this far?”

“Just because I did a better job-”

Pepper sighed. “If they called me, I think that means they’re tagging out.”

“Fine,” Tony gave in. “JARVIS, let everyone go.”

“Thank you,” Pepper smiled. “And next time, try to avoid going full-on villain?”

“You know I can’t promise that, Pep.”

* * *

Tony arrived at the living room to find the Avengers all waiting for him.

“You all look terrible,” he started.

“What was that, Tony?” Steve started. His face was still pretty red.

“Did you give us exhaustion with your mind?” Clint, at least, didn’t seem as mad. He did look a bit nervous, though.

“It was just a barely noticeable frequency being emitted that prevents falling into a deep sleep, so you couldn’t feel properly rested.”

Bucky’s eyes widened. “That’s metal as fuck.”

“Not the point,” Steve said. “You tried to kill us!”

“You wouldn’t have died,” Tony promised.

“Just mentally scarred,” Clint said.

“I’m sorry if I went too far.” Tony was sincere, since he didn’t  _ really  _ want to hurt his team. “But I thought that was the point of this whole thing?”

“We forgive you. Let me make you some coffee.” Clint got up to leave, but Nat pulled him back down. 

“What are you doing?” Natasha asked.

“Ssh, Nat, I don’t want to make him angry. He might kill us,” Clint whispered, if not very successfully. 

Tony choked. “What?”

“I’m on your side, Stark. I promise.”

“I’m not going to kill any of you, what the fuck?”

Steve shot Clint a look. “We know that. We’re all just a bit… unnerved.”

“Guys, I’m a genius. It’s who I am. You give me a challenge, I’m going to complete it to the best of my ability. You told me to fight the Avengers, that means going to extreme lengths.”

Steve tried again. “But-”

“You know me,” Tony went on. “You know I wouldn’t actually hurt any of you.”

“It doesn’t feel like we know you,” Clint muttered. “We didn’t know you’re an evil genius.”

“I prefer mad genius,” Tony said. “Crazy as I am, I’m still on your side.”

“We know that. We just want to make sure you stay that way. So can I make you coffee? Or a sandwich?”

“What you can do is act normally. And then we can plan how to deal with the Doombots next time we face them.”

The others exchanged looks. Tony tried not to feel too left out of the mental conversation. Finally, Bucky spoke up.

“Show us how the sleep-destroyer thing works and you got yourself a deal.”

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> For non-616 people, Nat's brother and the Swordsman are from the comics. MCU doesn't have enough characterization so I had to look elsewhere for dark secrets o.O


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